“Look at you. You’re young. And you’re scared. Why are you so scared? Stop being paralyzed. Stop swallowing your words. Stop caring what other people think. Wear what you want. Say what you want. Listen to the music you want to listen to. Play it loud as fuck and dance to it. Go out for a drive at midnight and forget that you have school the next day. Stop waiting for Friday. Live now. Do it now. Take risks. Tell secrets. This life is yours. When are you going to realize that you can do whatever you want?”

Never forget there's life after death and taxes.

I have quit the library, the world must be coming to an end. This is closing a chapter in my life and I will miss my library like crazy. Sean and I are together, trying to balance love and life, but aren't we always. I find myself struggling for true happiness, I am content, but what is happiness? Perfection is unattainable, but what is close to perfect? So I am trying to find my happiness in everyday life.
I'm getting a portrait of Jim Morrison tattooed on me this month as an ode to the era and the 27 club. As a sort of dedication to the time period I was meant for. And then on to my tree of life. I plan to have a few tattoos, but mostly where no one can see them, my own dedications and my own secrets, some things just for myself, and my life journey.
I miss my Papa and my Granny. I miss my father and brother and the relationships I need with them.
For some reason since a young age, God has seemed to have it out for me, I know everyone goes through trials and tribulations. "Hey, It could be worse, you could be like me,(continue with sadder story)."
I want to be the original Mallory, what happened to my uniqueness and strangeness and creativeness? I have stopped reading, listening to my records, going to church, painting, etc. I work, eat, sleep, smoke.
I've dedicated my new year to slow down with Mary and go to the gym more. I reason that if I can get some weight off and get my endorphins flowing my happiness will increase. I will hopefully find some of myself I have seemed to lost and find some of myself that is unknown.

We shall see what 2011 will bring.